Cock Cage Irony

A gay sub's thoughts about cages

I was a teenager entering puberty when I first heard about chastity devices.  And of course it was about men attempting to prevent women from being vaginally penetrated.  This was pre-internet, so I likely never saw an image, or not one that showed any detail, and I remember speculating about how such a thing could work.

It was literally decades later, and well after coming out as a gay man before I gave much thought to forced chastity for men. If I thought about devices designed to restrain a cock at all, it would have been in terms of a Dom locking the cock of a sub. And the hardware in those days was clunky and impractical for use outside of sex sessions.  

However, not only has the technology improved dramatically in recent years (nylon, 3D-printed lightweight material, for example), but so has my appreciation for the possibilities of what a cock cage might represent.

I’ve been on a 20 year journey of exploration of sexual submissiveness and have written extensively about that elsewhere.  Suffice to say, it was only in the last few years of exploring subspace that I also started to look again at cock cages and was pleasantly surprised by what I found.  Comfortable devices with a lot of thought given to wearability. 

A few things delayed my first purchase.  I have a foreskin and a number of genital piercings.  And for many years I have felt the need to make sure all my urine has left my penis after a whiz to prevent those last few drops making stains on underwear and creating an aroma. Suffice to say I thought it would be impractical for me to wear a cage for any length of time.  The lack of ability to clean and eliminate all urine, and the risk of catching on a piercing made me think a cage was impractical for me.  Add to that that I’ve never been in an ongoing sexual relationship with a Dom where the role play of being caged might naturally occur.  Oh, and a good cage ain’t cheap.

But finally, last year, I found myself trying on cages at Mr. S. in San Francisco and knew immediately that I wanted to buy one for myself.  I still haven’t completely sorted out in my mind why I personally wanted to explore wearing a cage.  I think it was because I hope to one day be in an ongoing submissive role and I figured I should do some research if the question of being caged were to arise. I wanted to explore whether I could wear one, and for how long at a time.  That day in the store I realized it was possible to get a cage that wouldn’t create problems with my piercings.  The cleanliness issue needed some trial and error.

Whenever I tell a friend that I sometimes wear a cage they immediately question the point of locking myself in a cage, without a Master holding the key.  Why bother if I can just unlock it any time I want?  In other words, they can only think of a cage in terms of submission and giving up control.  

But what I’ve found is that I get immense pleasure from the sensation of wearing a cage all day.  It’s like having someone holding my cock, hour after hour, as I go about normal daily activities at home or at work.  And I also get a huge kick out of knowing that people all around me have absolutely no idea that I’m wearing one under my clothes.  (Note, some cages are designed to hold things short and tight, whereas others will definitely show bulk under clothing.  So I’m inclined to wear the first type to work, and the second to a gay bar, for example.)

I’ve figured out how to pee standing up in a cage, but the fact that I can unlock the cage at any point I want makes it altogether more hygienic and allows me to make sure all the urine is out.  Likewise keeping things clean under my foreskin.  And although I have slept the night wearing a cage, I don’t tend to do this because I have no need of that sensation while asleep.  I love building arousal all day long in a cage and then removing it for masturbation at bed time.

So now we come to the irony part.  I would love to explore the sub side of having someone else control my access to my own cock.  I’d love to be in a relationship where my man locks me each morning before we head out to our separate work days, and then unlocks me when we get home in the evening.  Likewise any situation where we’ll be apart for hours or a day or so.  But in the absence of that scene, I’m having a lot of fun just with the sensation of having my cock held, and being reminded of that when shifting position in a chair for example, or if I get aroused.

But let’s think about this.  Although I consider myself sexually versatile, I’m unlikely to top a guy if I’m submissive to him.  Yes, I know that Dom Bottoms exist, but I don’t go looking for that experience. Call me old fashioned but I like my Doms to be the man because then it feels like I can more fully sink into the sub role.

So what exactly would be the point of a Dom locking up my cock when we’re apart?  A lockable butt plug would be a more reliable way of guaranteeing my chastity.  The problem with that (and yes, they do exist) is that they can only be worn for a short duration before risking really screwing up the bowel and its functions.

Denying a young and very horny sub the opportunity to masturbate whenever he wants could be a very significant exercise of control by the Dom.  I write about this in my Throat piece.  But in my case this isn’t a big deal.  I can be quite happy to get fucked and dominated endlessly without needing to jerk off.  These days I only cum once or twice a week so a cock cage is much less of a forced submission for me than for a young kid who jerks off three times a day.  Oh, and as an experiment, I was able to make myself cum while wearing my tight cage (but oddly so far not the loose one).  So some horny young cum-fountain is probably also going to be able to shoot a load in a cage without too much trouble.

So is there a point of using a cock cage for control?  Well yes, for sure, just the idea that someone else holds the key and the sub doesn’t know when he will unlock the cage is arousing.  Depending on the relationship, the agreed parameters and whether or not there’s TPE/CNC involved, having some control taken away is appealing. I would love to be in a relationship where I gave control of my cock to another man.  For me the appeal isn’t chastity, it’s the surrendering of control.

But as I started thinking about this I realized that perhaps I was forgetting to think about this from other directions.  Just as Dom Bottoms exist, so do Sub Tops.  The perfect use of a cock cage would be to stop a top from being able to fuck other men.  Likewise it could reduce the chances of him jerking off and wasting precious seed that you believe rightfully belongs in your mouth or hole.  So here finally is the logical use for a cage.  A Dom Bottom locking the cock of a Sub Top.  

But that’s not all. I have an ex-boyfriend who could never keep his cock in his pants.  He was a classic Fuckboy.  An extremely talented top with a high sex drive.  He was also a flight attendant with a bottom in every city he ever had a regular layover in.  I used to convince myself that he was more useful to me if his needs were being met when I wasn’t around, but I did worry that his promiscuity exposed me to greater risk of disease.  If, in some fantasy parallel universe, he ever came to me and begged me to be his live–in lover, well then the cock cage would be a wonderful negotiating tool.  Yes honey, I’ll take you back, but everytime you go off on a three day work trip I’ll need to lock up that troublesome cock of yours, until you’re back in our bed.

What better way for a top to reassure his bottom that he’s remaining faithful, than to offer the bottom the key to his cage?  And this doesn’t have to have anything to do with Dom/sub.  This could be simply about quelling the suspicions of the bottom partner. Or is could be a way for the man who normally has the control in a relationship to give his naturally more submissive partner an experience of the other side.  Most subs are capable of some degree of dominance.  This could be a way to provide a small amount of balance and would probably come with the Dom extracting yet more submission out of his partner in exchange.

On final note about cages.  Although they are primarily designed to be locked with a key that can be held exclusively by the Dom, many can be fitted with what is known as an Airlock.  It’s a bit like a miniature zip tie with a unique serial number printed on it. It gets inserted in place of the keyed lock.  The Dom inserts the airlock and makes a note of the number before parting company with the sub.  The sub can now remove the cage by cutting the zip tie, but for as long as they resist that urge the sub can continue to send photographic evidence (time stamped, or live streamed) to show that the same numbered tag is still locking the cage.  It’s a great way to ease a nervous sub into chastity, or to set an endurance challenge for the sub when the Dom is going to be away for a prolonged period.

Future thoughts.  I’ve seen cock cages with urethral sounds. Sometimes as a plug to prevent urination, but also as a way to facilitate it.  I have suspicions that this won’t be hugely successful.  My experience of attempting to pee through a insert tube has always resulted in spray outside the tube, but i’m curious about experimenting with these types of cages and inserts.